


Heart

by anonniemoose



Series: SPN OneShots [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F, F/M, OOC Crowley, Smut, crowley has kid, i promise you that, right in the feels, timeline is fucked up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 14:14:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4922782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonniemoose/pseuds/anonniemoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley destroyed your heart, leaving you alone with the Winchester brothers and their pet winged rat of all people. You weren't going to forgive him, no matter what Fate threw at you.</p><p>Except that he won't stop trying to win you back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings/Tags: Fluff, no smut, alcohol usage, mentions of torture, demon!reader.
> 
> Word Count: 2, 452 words
> 
> Prompt: Imagine being Crowley’s wife from day one of him being a hellhound trainer, through his crossroad demon days, but only for him to leave you in a rather cruel way when he becomes King in order to protect you, but he misses you so much he begs you to come back a year after you left.

  
[](http://s1259.photobucket.com/user/hannahgraus/media/FanFiction%20-%20To%20Link/IMG-20151004-WA0076_zpswn5fuw2j.jpg.html)

_As provided by[perverine](perverine.tumblr.com)._

* * *

The dead body beneath your feet burns, almost warming your now frozen heart.

This case was a particularly hard one. Those who state that demons do not have feelings definitely didn’t know you. A year after the one pers- dem-  _thing_  told you that he never felt the same still was vivid in your mind and still managed to tear your heart in two.

You shake your head.  _’Not today, Y/N. Don’t give him the satisfaction.’_

The case revolved around couples who had been married only eighteen months. Eighteen months on the dot. Still in the honeymoon phase of their married life. But then, every single one of them was sacrificed. You agreed with Castiel, they were done by humans, not any supernatural creature.

This case kept taking you back to your wedding day, the rings you once exchanged with your ex-husband now lay heavy under your shirts, hidden to everyone but you.

You’d met him the first day he became a demon. Sold his soul for three extra inches below the waist and the attention of one very beautiful lady, which he claimed to be you.

He always was the charmer.

As time went on, you climbed the ranks together, but finally marrying once you both became Hell Hound Breeders and Trainers. A small, church wedding with one very traumatised and frightened priest and two of your closest demonic friends.

It was perfect.

But then…. You blink back tears as you think of the long relationship you had with the King of Hell, but for it all to come crumbling down in five short minutes.

****

**~One Year Ago~**

Yes, it was cheesey, but it was your two hundredth and eighty fifth anniversary, and not very many people – or supernaturals – could claim that.

So, tonight was going to be special. As every year was. No presents were exchanged, haven’t ever been, but tonight was the first anniversay that you were going to celebrate since his becoming of King. You were overjoyed for him, as you always were from day one of meeting him. So, here you were, fixing up yourself ready to leave for whatever nightly adventure Crowley had planned.

It took you a couple of minutes to notice the piece of paper laying ontop of your desk and it wasn’t until you were leaning on it to fix up your shoe did you notice the thick, fancy piece of parchment with your husbands handwriting clearly written upon it.

Curious, you opened it and slowly start to read, your heart cracking with every sentence.

Y/N,   
I believe this is the best of times than any other to explain a few things to you, espeically now since I have decided to divorce you.   
To begin with, I thank you. You have allowed me to crawl up the ranks without causing any suspicsion. Who would have guessed that a happily married demon, who is compassionate and loving, would be able to become King of Hell. I do believe that everyone’s, including your, niaevity lead to me sitting upon this throne.   
You see, my darling YN/N, I’ve always been a master manipulater. I knew from day one of you showing me around the Hell Hound Training Yard that you would be the one to help rise to success, even if you didn’t know you were.   
So, now as I sit upon this throne, looking back over the past however many years, I realise that I should be gracious. And tell you the absolute truth.   
I used you. You were a means to an end, an end which has now come. You mean nothing more to me than the scum at the bottom of Hell’s hirachy, the dirt that I tred upon. I never loved you, Y/N. And I never will.   
I do not regret being able to tell you this to you face, because I believe you will guilt me into staying with you longer than I originally intended.   
I suppose I should also tell you that you’ve been banned from Hell, Puragatory and all of our homes. The demons have been instructed to bring you straight to the worst torture chamber and use you as practice for newer demons. I have given you twenty four hours to leave with all of your belongings from Hell and my homes.   
I have organised for you to stay with the Winchesters for some time until you can finally get yourself sorted. Don’t ever say I didn’t do anything for you.   
Goodbye Y/N.   
~FM

There, taped to the parchment was his wedding ring. Your jaw clicks as you let at a scream of frustration and agony. Two hundred and eighty five years of memories and it turns out he was just using you. You were nothing more than a means to an end. And now you were to be shipped off to the  _Winchesters_  and their pet angel of all people.

A growl leaves your lips as you rip the paper to shreds, pocketing the ring before throwing everything, the letter, Crowley’s suits and prized possessions (including his Craig) into the fire. Books, papers, scrolls, those silk sheets that he just had to buy when they were originally sold back whenever in your long married life. They all joint the fire, building the flames higher and higher. Jewellery that you no longer needed, chairs, anything he bought for you. Except the rings

You turn to the wardrobe once more, packing nothing but the bare essentials before zapping out to a small town down south.

You meant nothing to him.

And you were going to make him nothing to you.

****

**~Present Day~**

Your buzzing phone shakes you out of your thoughts. The ID reading ‘Dean’ shows briefly before you answer.

“Yes?” You kick at the dirt as slowly the body begins to stop burning. “Better be good Dean, I’m almost done with the bodies.”

“Yeah well…we have a little bit of a problem.” He seems to answer hesitantly, which instantly raises your suspicions. “You need to come back to the bunker.”

“Body. Almost. Done. Burning.” You say forcefully with a strong gap in between each word, trying to accent your point. “Thirty minutes and they’ll be ash.”

“Drunk. Crowley. Hugging. My. Legs.” He says in the same manner. “I’ll get Cas and Sam to come over and watch them, I’ll stay here to make sure he doesn’t pull anything funny.”

“You trying to protect my honour, Dean?” You smile as you see the angel and the taller of the two Winchesters apppear in front of you. “I’ll be over in a sec, do not draw a devil’s trap.” You wave to the two boys as you spell yourself back to the Bunker.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

“Oh. My.” The sight you are greeted with isn’t a pretty one. Sure, you’d seen your ex drunk before, but not pitifully so. Here was a demon who was one) so drunk it was almost comical, two) unshaven, unkept and completely disheveled, and finally, was going between Kevin’s and Dean’s legs, holding them close, begging them to forgive him.

Dean was amused, Kevin was completely lost and you…..well, you were pissed.

Clearing your throat, you watched as Crowley turns around, face slowly changing from one of tears and confusion to one of joy and complete relief.

“YN/N! I missed you poppet!” You simply raise an eyebrow. “Darling?

“Gentlemen,” you address the boys in front of you, “please allow the King and I a few moments alone. I do believe that I’m entitled to a private audience with him.” Crowley’s face drops once he hears your formal tone.

Dean ushers Kevin out with a small smirk. As soon as the door closes you hear his ‘Crowley’s in for an arse-whopping’ comment.

Silence decends upon the two of you. He moves to stand and instantly you take a step back, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as possible. He swallows, your eyes narrow before finally allowing yourself to speak.

“How can I help you, Your Majesty?” He winces, knowing that once you spoke so formal, he was in deep shit, knowing that soon your top will pop and then it would be screaming and most likely tears.

“Come now, luv, don’t be like that, I-”

”Be like what, be like  _what_?!” Your voice raises before you set your jaw. “I don’t see why you are here, sire, afterall, I’m just a pawn in your game, a strategic manover, a means to an end.” Again, he winces, moving forward as you move back.

”I know I said some pretty horrible thin-“

”You divorced me in a letter, banished me from  _my_  home and, on top of that, called me nothing more than a thing. A way to get to the top. And worst of all, you manipulated me! You made me feel love that I’ve never felt for anyone or thing else and it was all just a ploy to get you a crown.” You feel your eyes beginning to water as you turn around.

”In fairness, you did destroy all of my belongings, took my mutt and then burnt my houses to the ground.” He adds in, which infuriates you more.

**”You stole, played with and ripped out my heart!”**  You scream back, finally at breaking point. “You used me for your own devices. I’m so  _sorry_  that your possessions mean more to you than the feelings of another creature, then I’m glad I destroyed something so precious to you.” You feel your shoulders shake as you turn away. “What do you even want?”

Crowley pales during your mini rant as he moves up to hold you from behind, arms wrapping around you until they link around your middle, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t escape his grip. Once an intimate hold between the two of you now held nothing but dark memories.

”Because, I want you back.” You could feel the rage trembling through your body.

**”You think I’m just some dog ready to heel at your whistle?!”**  Your shriek echoes through the halls as he tries to backtrack. “ _You think you can manipulate me again?!_ ”

”Please, I’m sorry YN/N, I-“

”Do. Not. Call. Me. That.” You grind out, finally managing to remove yourself from his arms, turning to poke at his chest. “Don’t you ever call me that, you do not have the right.”

He swallows before trying again, this time more passionately. “Y/N, please! I know I messed up- I know I shouldn’t have left you but you know I had to!”

”Had to? You didn’t have to do jack squat!”

”They would have killed you!” He shouts back, running his hand through his short hair. “I had to….I had to protect you!”

“Oh did you, now?” You asked, crossing your arms. “And leaving me in such a cold way was the best way to do it?!”

“Yes and I know that you’re angry but-” You cut him off, your mask slipping slightly.

“Angry? Oh no Crowley I’m not angry.” You state in a cold, calm, almost venomous voice. “I never was. I never felt angry. Sad? Maybe. Betrayed? Sure. Lost? Yes. Alone? Definitely. Broken? Yeah. But angry? Oh no, Crowley don’t worry. I’m not angry at you for leaving me all alone when I was by your side through thick and thin. I’m not angry at you for leaving me all alone and broken, the way you did. I’m not angry.” You swallow back your tears, threatening to fall. “No Crowley, I’m sad, betrayed, lost, alone, broken and livid.”

“Oh poppet.” He sighed, moving to draw you into his arms once more, trying to give you some comfort. “I’m so sorry, I- Please I can’t make it without you, and I-”

”Well you should have thought about that before you left me!” You build your mask up once more, not letting it falter again.

”Dove……” He trails off, unable to find words in his drunken state, but instead pulling you towards him and crashing his lips down onto yours.

Normally, he smelt of the familiar scent of sulphur with sandalwood, and tasted of a sweet he was – and still is – quite fond of when he was a child (you were quite sure it was some form of caramel), bitter chocolate with a faint after taste of Craig. But now, all you could smell and taste was Craig, you were practically drowning in it. The kiss was passionate, and meant to sweep you off your feet, but instead you found yourself wondering….how much Craig did he drink?

He pulls back and you instantly go to slap him, outraged as to how he has been treating you. He, even in his drunk state, is too quick and catches your hand, pulling you in closer for another kiss. “I’m sorry.”

”I bet you are, let me go.” You start to wiggle, hoping to remove yourself from his grip.

”I’m sorry.” He repeats, kissing you again. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

”I’m sorry I ever met you.” You glare.

”I’m sorry I lied to you.”

”I’m sorry you’re struggling to see reality.”

”I’m most sorry that you think that I do not love you.” He kisses your forehead in a tender fashion. “I know we can never be the same as we once were, something that I will miss terribly, but I wish for us to start again, be married once more.” He eyes something, fingers dancing until it meet the chain around your neck. “And something tells me,” he lifts up the chain until the rings are visible, “there is some part inside of you that wishes the same.” He drops the chain. “Please, one more chance?” You take a deep breath. Crowley could never lie when he was drunk and he could definitely not reek or taste so badly of Craig and still be sober. But, you were still hurt.

”I can’t, McLeod.” You state firmly, beginning to walk away.

”Y/N, please, jus-“

”I can’t trust you after what happened. Maybe I will be able to continue our relationship sometime in the distant future.” You refuse to look back as you say your piece. “But definitely not now.”

The King of Hell looks almost human as be hold back his tears of dread and horror. “Please Y/N. I love you.” You grace yourself one look back at the pitifully crying King.

”I’m not sorry when I say this, but I do not love you back.” With those cold words spoken, you leave the room, leaving the now broken dem- man crying on his knees, still yelling out to you three simple phrases.

Please, come back.

Y/N, no, please, don’t leave me here.

Y/N, please, I love you.


	2. Heartless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings/Tags: Fluff, smuttiness, brief demon!Dean.
> 
> Word Count: 2, 690 words
> 
> Summary: Kevin’s dead, Dean’s a demon and Crowley is desperate to get you back. After a rather frightening message from Dean, you leave to spend the night at a local bar where a flattering gentleman manages to make Crowley jealous leads to a steamy night with some consequences afterwards.

  
[ ](http://s1259.photobucket.com/user/hannahgraus/media/FanFiction%20-%20To%20Link/IMG-20151004-WA0084_zpslf29gij0.jpg.html)

_As provided by[ perverine](perverine.tumblr.com)._

* * *

You were furious. No, livid.

How dare he. How. Dare. He. He had not only ripped out all that was left of your human self and trampled on it, then had the nerve to come back a year later to beg for you to come back.

You refused to go back, you refused to give him any part of you anymore, but he always seemed to keep some part of him in your life. His latest scheme?

Getting his new pet, Dean the Demon, to ‘take care’ and protect you.

What. An. Arse.

You sigh as you stretch your new human body, having found a spell that removed your demonicness, just another step to remove yourself from your ex.

But after Dean became a demon, you noticed some rather….different. He refused to let you go onto any hunts other than salt and burns, and even then it was a real struggle to let you attend them. Then, oh then, he hid all the spell books that gave you the spell to change back into a human. From there, you scrapped your knee on the pavement outside a church, he bandaged you up and you weren’t allowed to leave the Bunker for six days. There was a vampire hunt, he locked you in your room when they left to go destroy the nest.

Normally, if he did this, you wouldn’t have minded. Dean has always been protective of you. But, he never banned you from hunts, he never controlled what you ate (all of your candy disappeared over night and you were only allow salad and meat once you turned human), and he definitely never restricted you to your room.

But now, as you sit on the bar, sipping your drink, you consider what Dean had told you hours before, his body tied down to the chair in the centre of a Devil’s Trap.

_‘You think he’s just waltzed out of your life? Why do you think I’ve been acting the way I have? Huh! **Why do you think?!**_ ’

You left quickly after that. Wandering around town eventually lead you to this bar, and to now.

You weren’t sure how drunk you were, but you were way past tipsy. You could feel your head becoming foggier and foggier by the second. You just wanted to forget your life for a little big longer.

And Sebastian was making you forget awfully quickly. Tall, intelligent, and his accent, oh his  _accent_  was what really topped it all off.

Ordering yet another drink, you smirk when you notice the hand on your thigh. “Getting a bit cosy, are we?” You tease lightly, your hand moving to touch his hand lightly as he laughs.

“What can I say? I’m in excellent company.” You grin, sipping your drink before placing it gently back on the bar.

“I’m staying at a motel not too far from here.” You bite your lip, trying to suppress your smile. “That is….if you’re interested?”

You hadn’t slept with anyone after your separation with Crowley, but the alcohol and Sebastian’s pleasant company had relax you and removed all inhibitions. You wanted Sebastian and you wanted him now.

“I’d be delighted.” He stands, throwing a few dollars plus a tip on the bar before offering you his arm, leading you out of the building and towards your motel.

Not even three minutes in, you recognised the familiar growl of a very familiar hellhound. Sebastian looks around, trying to find the source of the barking. “You won’t find it.”

Your eyes narrow at a voice that you had dreaded to hear for nearly four years now, but somehow it still managed to relax you. You glare at your ex-husband, standing there with whom you knew to be Juliet.

“I’m sorry, mate?” Sebastian asks, hand wrapped around your waist tightly. “May we help you?”

Crowley’s eyes flash dangerously. “You can start by removing your hand from my wife.”

“ **Ex** -wife, actually.” You correct, moving towards Sebastian, trying to protect him from the hellhound you knew to be nearby. “You dumped me, Fergus. Now I’ve moved on.”

“I didn’t know you had to stoop so low, Y/N.” Crowley’ glare doesn’t leave Sebastian. “Having to rely on hook-ups from the local, seedy bar.” He tsks quietly. “I thought you knew better.”

“If I did, then I wouldn’t of married you, now would I?” You growl out at him. “Leave.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, pet.” Your noise crinkles at the old pet name, though you are not sure if it is out of disgust, or recognition of the name. “You are still mine.”

“Last time I checked, Y/N here isn’t a possession.” Sebastian steps in. Crowley smirks.

“How about this? You have thirty second to ditch Romeo here, or I sic Juliet on him.” Your eyes widen. “I’m not joking pet.” You turn to Sebastian quickly.

“Go,” he opens his mouth to argue, “go, I’ll be fine. It was lovely meeting you. Perhaps another time.” He swallows, obviously not comfortable, but noting that you were capable of taking care of yourself, he nods, turns and leaves.

“You know I don’t share pet.” Crowley murmurs from right behind you. “Now let’s get you back to your motel.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took barely a second for you to appear in your crummy motel room, and instantly, you turn on Crowley. “What was that?!”

“I told you, pet, I don’t share.”

“I’m not some toy here for you to pass around!” You push past him. “You left me! You can’t come waltzing back in and tell me that I am not allowed to move on when you’re the one who decided it was over in the first place! No, Crowley.” You glare at his opened jaw. “That is  _not_  the way it works.” Silence ticks over you for the next few minutes.

“It didn’t escape my notice that he was British.” He states quickly, coming off as jealous, but still smug. “Can’t seem to escape me, pet. I’ve ruined you.”

“You know what? You have.” You turn around, drunken anger pouring from your body. “You controlled my life the moment Dean became a demon, and even before then! I was killing twenty demons a week at least.  _At least!_  Everything I do I have to look out for your little minions.” You walk towards him slowly, hands ready to push at him. “Kevin  _died_  and I could have saved him, but instead, I was explaining to a bunch of rogue demons that if they killed me, you wouldn’t of given a fuck. I had to show them the fucking letter!” You push him back until he sits down on the couch as you pull out his letter. “I have to carry it with me always to fucking  _remind_  myself I’m not welcomed in your presence anymore!” You throw the parchment at him in anger, which he catches and pockets as you run your hand through your hair. “I’ve fucking had it with you, I’ve had it with your accent and your tattoos and your need to be in control all the time! I’ve had it wi-” He moves up to cover your mouth with his hand, muffling your rant.

“You want to know what I think?” He ignores your muffled ‘no’ as he pulls you down into his lap. “I think you want control, but you are still so in love with me that you can’t help but to be drawn to people like me. I think you want me back, but you want to have more say, more dominance in our relationship.” His hand trails to under your shirt, playing with the skin of your stomach lightly, smiling softly as you struggle to remove yourself, but your drunken human state leaves you uncoordinated and unable to remove his arms. “I miss this. I can remember so, so much.”

He ignores your narrowing eyes when you realise you cannot remove yourself as he continues. “I can remember everything, Y/N.” Your name rolls perfectly off his lips. “I can remember how amazing you tasted, you felt. How you made me feel whenever we were together, so alive, so loved. How your hands felt on me after Lilith wore me down to the bone. How your skin and muscles felt when I got rid of every single stress muscle in your body, and then some. I can remember your lips mapping every part of my body and I can remember mapping every part of your body with my lip.” His hands moves up to climb up your torso and to cup your breasts. “I miss the way these feel, these taste. I miss everything about you, and yet I remember everything with such clarity. How you would never ever dom me but every single chance you could, you would let me dom you. I can remember how you looked, down at my feet, your lips wrapped around my cock. I can remember your face as you laid on the bed and I ploughed into you. I can remember how you tasted and how you reacted to my tongue. I can remember how you bent in half, how we would drop our meatsuits and change them around for a bit of variety. I can remember the one time we possessed those two female friends before moving onto their boyfriends. Do you remember that, Y/N? Because I can remember it all. And I especially remember how sinful you look, how delicious you are when you are in charge, luv, rolling your hips, controlling every. Little. Thing.” He smirks as his lips move to mouth at the base of the column of your neck. “I think you miss that most of all, pet.”

What he said did make sense, and his hands felt just as good as they did all those years ago. “You hurt me.” You mumble, hands already moving up to play with the collar of his blazer.

“And I’m sorry for that, pet.” He whispers, pressing a soft kiss into the flesh of your shoulder. “I want to apologise. To give myself up to you completely.”

“I’ll be in control?” He nods into your skin. “And if I say stop, we stop?” He nods again and your hands move up to tug at his hair, moving his head until your lips are nearly brushing. “You do not control me.”

He barely responds with a breathy ‘I know pet’ before you force your lips together, groaning at the familiar taste of what is Crowley. Sliding your jacket off, pull back to order him to unbutton your shirt before slamming your lips back together, making the kiss deeper and deeper.

His fingers work quickly and efficiently, removing your shirt and bra without issue. His hands glide down your sides as you pull back, staring into his eyes momentarily, trying to figure out what he wanted. Noticing your drunken, questioning gaze, he cocks his head to the side. “Is that all you missed pet?” He smirks. “Pity, I figured that you were up for more. Then again, I put it down to your…new humanness?” You feel your blood boil as the challenge is set.

Grinding down on his rapidly hardening cock, you tug at his blazer. “Off.” Shrugging it off as you tug at his tie, yanking it off before frantically making work at his shirt, his hands slowly tracing patterns on the skin of your sides, his mouth sucking and biting at your skin, leaving possessive marks, knowing how much you like – liked – that.

“Bed.” You barely make out as he stands, picking you up as you wrap your legs around his waist, his shirt now discarded on the floor, your hands tracing the long faded ink on his vessels biceps as he sits on the edge of the creaky old bed. Your hands travel down as you pull back to work at his belt and fly, his lips moving to mouth at your upper breast, biting and sucking. You stand up, with a quick order of ‘off’ and his pants, shoes and socks in a messy pile at the base of the bed in minutes as you shuck off your jeans and heels. Your hand pushes his chest back as you crawl onto the bed, your body hot and needy as you straddle him once more, now in the centre of the bed, your hot, wet core brushing against the tip of his hard cock. You still for a moment. Are you really going to do this with your arse of an ex-husband?

“You’ve already come this far, pet,” his hypnotic voice reminds you, teasing your alcohol soaked mind, “why not go all the way?”

With that, you slam yourself down onto him in one strong movement. Both of you groan loudly, him at the tight heat and you at the sudden sensation of fullness. Not even waiting, your hands move to rest on his chest as you begin to swivel and grind your hips, enjoying a feeling you haven’t felt in years.

“I’ve missed this pet.” His hands trail up your arms, one moving to cup and pinch at your breast, the other moving to your rotating hips. “Your tight, wet heat surrounding me, engulfing me, making me feel one with you. Did you miss this Y/N? The way I fill you, complete you? The way I make you feel? It’s been too long, pet, too bloody long.” You squeeze around him, already feeling the coil rapidly tightening in your belly. “You won’t last long, pet, I know you won’t, you’ve gone too long without me pet.” He thrusts up a little, smirking when he hears your rapid breathing. “Don’t hold back pet, I want to feel you cum around me.” The coil is so tight and you pull your head back, eyes scrunched closed as you continue to ride Crowley quickly. You didn’t want to cum first, in fact, you weren’t going to, and nothing Crowley could do would change tha- “Cum pet.”

You clamp down around him and scream loudly as the coil bursts from your lower belly all throughout your body, not even complaining when Crowley turns the two of you over, thrusting in and out of you rapidly, at an inhumane pace. He growls, raising one of your thighs to rest at his shoulder, his teeth now biting every area he can, marking you as his. His hand travels down to play with your clit as he is determined to bring you off one last time.

You slowly come out of your post-orgasmic haze when you realise the position you are in. “Crowley!” You shout as he grazes against your g-spot, his fingers working furiously at your clit. You could feel yourself preparing for orgasm, and you could see Crowley was close too. His hips begin to lose their rhythm and his thrusts become more frantic. His eyes flash red as he slams forward one last time both of you cumming together in a strangled mix of your names.

The last thing you remember before passing out is a tender kiss to your lips followed by a bare whisper of ‘I love you’, and then nothing.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been six weeks since you last saw Crowley. Dean was no longer a demon and you had moved back into the Bunker. For the past few days, you struggled to keep anything down, and nausea didn’t seem to leave. The events of that night six weeks ago haunted you daily, especially because Crowley had left way before you had woken the following morning.

You weren’t positive that you were…. _that_ , but it was a possibility that was worth exploring.

A secret trip to the pharmacy and smuggling in the brown paper bag was an adventure in itself, but now you are sitting in your ensuite’s toilet lid, blanket wrapped around you as you eye the white stripes of plastic.

Once five minutes were up, you closed your eyes, said a quick prayer and looked at them, one after the other.

Two blue lines.

Shit.

Pink vertical line.

Oh shit.

A blue plus with the words ‘6 Weeks’ written underneath.

_Oh. Shit._


	3. Prologue: When He Became She

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your love life was definitely not stale. It was just as active and as kinky as it was when you and your now-husband first started seeing each other. But a bit of variety every now and again, some spontaneity, was never missed. But even then, this was pushing it a bit far.
> 
> Standing there, right in front of you, was your husband. Well, you say husband. You should be saying wife by the state of his – her – meatsuit. “Crowley?”
> 
> “Who else?” She does a spin, skirts flaring out at her feet. “What do you think?”
> 
> “I think that you’ve lost your mind.” You say, mind slightly staling. “Why have you possessed a woman whose contract is about to be completed?”
> 
> Crowley wants to learn how you feel during sex, and when the opportunity presents itself, you are only too keen to assist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a few people two and a half years ago wanted to know what happened during an off-handed comment made during Heartless, and I'm stalling for time because, well, I am struggling with the final installment of the Heart series, so I'm hoping this will get me back on track. Its only f/f and no m/m, if people want it and request it, then I'll do it. I DID make mention of it in the original fic, but it'll happen way post this fic if I do write it.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Your love life was definitely not stale. It was just as active and as kinky as it was when you and your now-husband first started seeing each other. But a bit of variety every now and again, some spontaneity, was never missed. But even then, this was pushing it a bit far.

Standing there, right in front of you, was your husband. Well, you say husband. You should be saying wife by the state of his – her – meatsuit. “Crowley?”

“Who else?” She does a spin, skirts flaring out at her feet. “What do you think?”

“I think that you’ve lost your mind.” You say, mind slightly staling. “Why have you possessed a woman whose contract is about to be completed?”

“Well, Miss Ella here has been having some naughty thoughts about her best friend. Thought we might fulfil her fantasies before we release the hounds on her.” She smirks playfully over to you.

“Crowley.” You sigh, standing to brush yourself down before composing yourself. “You couldn’t give a damn about her fantasies, and I’m certainly not her friend.” She raises an eyebrow. “The truth?”

“Well, if you _must_ know, I want to experience what you experience.” She puts her hands on her hips. “And I want to know if I can get away with more when I have tits.” You smirk, moving towards her.

“I can assure you that _you_ won’t because you are the most annoying being in hell.” You look up at the blonde, meeting unfamiliar green eyes that had a familiar amused glint that could only be the love of your life. She leans down to peck you softly on your lips. “You sure?”

“Of course.” You sigh.

“Where is her friend at?” You smile slightly when your husband pulls back, the look of pure excitement warming your heart.

“You know that shop that you frequent when we go to London?” You nod. “She’s there, Mrs. Elizabeth Taylors.” You hum.

“I’ll see you there, love.” You stand back so you can smoke out of your long-used vessel and into Elizabeth Taylors.

The new body was a shock. For one, her corset was a lot looser than you’d ever have yours leaving you to feel unsupported. Her height was another thing, taller than you by a few inches was enough to set your balance off. But, more importantly, her mind was so _loud_ , protesting your possession of her being.

_Shut up._ You hiss into her mind. _If you know what’s good for you, you’d shut up right now._

Quiet. Bliss. “Well then, Elizabeth. Show we?” You turn to see Crowley as you stumble in your new vessel. “Careful, dear.”

“Easy for you, you change vessels like there is going to be a global shortage.” You bite back as the two of you exit the shop, Crowley escorting you back to one of your vessel’s home, your beloved husband smirking all the way. “Shuttit.”

“I didn’t say anything.” You shake your head at her before looking up to the sky as you stand by the front door.

“It’s gonna snow.” You smile fondly before Crowley tugs at your arm.

“Let’s go warm you up then.” She pulls you in, slamming the door and pushing you up against it. “Hello pet.” You roll your eyes.

“Hello love.” You lean up to peck her carefully on the lips. She growls before slamming her lips down forcefully, tongue tracing your lips before you grant access.

It’s weird having what was clearly your husband’s form of kissing on a new pair of lips, with a different taste and tongue in your mouth. You’d had this experience before….but not with your own new mouth, and lips, and tongue. Sensing your apprehension, she pulls back. “Is this okay?”

“It’s okay….strange but okay.” You admit, before smiling up at her. “New body, its all very new and different. I’m alright.” You pull her closer towards you, kissing her again forcefully and passionately, all teeth and tongue. “Mmm, definitely okay.” You tease. “C’mon, bed?” She smirks as she manages to pick you up as you wrap your legs around her, moving gracefully towards the bed, throwing you down unceremoniously.

The next struggle of the corsets came next. You watched amused as Crowley tried to untie her corset from the back. “How do you even deal with this blasted thing? It’s uncomfortable and just nasty.” You snicker before beckoning her closer. You grab either side of the corseted dress and tear it in two, allowing her to step out of the dress with ease. “Damn, that’s hot.” You snigger as she crawls over you.

“Forgot that we could do that, dear?” You tease, moving to tear away at the rest of her vessel’s clothing, hands caressing her new curves and shape as you go. She rolls her eyes before kissing you gently. The tearing of fabric lets you know that she was giving you the same treatment. She pulls back, eyes glazed as she looks you over.

“Fuck me, you’re hot.” You grin as she starts to kiss down your body, sucking your breasts lightly before moving on, making her way between your thighs. You sit up to look down at her, as she smiles wickedly before slowly inserting a finger inside of you. You groan as you slam your head down on the pillow as another finger slowly joins the first, thumb pressing lightly on your clit. You feel the coil in your lower belly grow tighter slowly, heat beginning to light up as her fingers start to massage your inner walls, slowly pulling out as she goes only to slam back in. You can hear her giggle as she kisses your inner thigh lightly.

“Enjoying yourself?” You look down at her with a raised eyebrow.

“This vessel is definitely a lot more sensitive than my last.” You agree as Crowley blows lightly on your clit. “Hey, turn around.” She looks up at you, confused before doing what you said. You smirk as you move to straddle her chest, slowly moving forward until you hover over her face, her hands moving to grasp at your thighs and ass, pushing you down onto her face. You groan as she starts to lightly suck at your clit, grinding down lightly as she moves to grasp at your chest. Her movements become more aggressive, pushing your back to encourage you to move as she goes about exploring your body, her mouth and tongue attacking your clit harshly, her free hand moving down to slowly start pumping one, then two, then three fingers inside of you, trying to find that _one_ spot inside of you. The heat in your lower stomach begins to boil as you feel that coil tightening, that pressure beginning to grow. You grasp at Crowley’s hair, pulling tightly as, finally, the coil breaks. Your hips grind down as your orgasm washes over you, Crowley moving to taste everything you have to offer. You roll onto your side, breathless as she makes her way up to your face, holding you gently as she kisses you softly, causing you to taste yourself on her lips.

“Need a minute?” She asks cockily. You roll your eyes.

“Always, my love.” You sit up to pull up Crowley’s slip, more or less leaving her bare. “Lay back, legs over the edge of the bed.” You wait for her to do as you instruct before moving to straddle her, moving to kiss her on the lips lightly before slowly making your way down her neck, biting and sucking lightly, smirking as you here a small groan come from her mouth.

You pull back to look at your handiwork, grinning as you see all the red makes and bruises forming on your beloved’s neck before moving back down to mark her breasts. The moment you wrap your lips around her nipple and start to suck lightly, with your other hand to pinch and play with the other, her hands are in your hair as she moans loudly. A small tug from above causes you to pull back as she bends down to nip at your ear. “Stop teasing me pet.”

“Barely done a thing and you call it teasing.” You purr. “Should I do what you’ve done to me many a time? Leave you wanting, waiting, with no release for hours on end?” You are sharply pulled back.

“Don’t you dare.” She warns as you as you raise your eyebrow. “I’ll make sure you’ll never cum again if you even _think_ about doing that.”

“Please.” You move to kiss down her stomach. “As if you could resist me. Or deny me.” She hums as you move to kneel at her feet, moving her knees that hang loosely by the edge of the bed to your shoulders.

“Mm, my favourite position pe-” You cut her off when you move up to lick her clit, pushing your finger into her slowly as you do so. The sudden jolt causes you to stop. “A little warning wouldn’t hurt.”

“You want to experience everything I experience.” You tease before you continue to slide into her. “I never get any warning.” You hear a faint growl that turns into a whine as a second finger joins the first.

It’s odd. You had never been one for masturbation and God knows you never did this with another woman. But, the odd sensation of strong, silky walls contracting around your now three fingers in a weird, wet heat was somehow addictive. Hearing a feminine moan instead of a low growl was a new sound that you could get used to, hell, you loved the sound of either but this…this was different.

You move forward to attack her clit again, massaging and searching for that one, small spot, deep inside he-

A loud shriek as her hips jack-knife off the bed informs you that you’ve found it, smirking into her as she tries to calm down as you attack her g-spot without mercy. Pulling away from her clit, you move to bite down and suck hard on her thigh as she starts to grind down on your fingers, tightening her grip around them. Then, suddenly and without warning, she screams out your name as she cums. You pull your fingers out and suck them clean, moving up towards her face, once calm and in control now dishevelled, making her look like a mad woman.

“Good?” You ask as you peck the side of her temple, pulling her in for a hug.

“I have never felt anything like that.” She admits, grabbing your hand and kissing your palm. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” You smile lightly. “Mrs. Elizabeth Taylors certainly enjoyed herself.” You snicker as you access your vessel’s thoughts. “Way to go out with a bang.”

“Mmm, her friend enjoyed herself too.” She grins happily. “Sold their souls to get husbands, you know?” You scoff.

“Well, that’s a pathetic reason to sell your soul.” You feel Crowley’s fingertips trace circles into your forearm as silence comes over you for a few minutes.

“Got time for round two?” You roll your eyes.

“Can we just enjoy the moment?” You ask as you snuggle in closer, wanting to rest for the moment.

“Perhaps.” You can almost hear the pout. “You are amazingly beautiful, you know that?” You can feel the self-doubt leak in as you shake your head under the guise of nuzzling into her chest, her hand never faultering.

“Mm, but not as amazing as you.” You hear a chuckle before you feel her lips on your head as you slowly start to drift away.

~~~

You were awakened by two men shouting and the familiar growls of hellhounds scratching at the door. You shake Crowley awake, who swats you away before you push her off the bed. She looks up at you, pissed as you move down beside her. “Time to smoke out.” You turn to see the door smash as the hellhounds move to attack, leaving you just enough time to exit your temporary vessel, just before the hound’s claws start digging into her, looking for her soul.

Arriving in your old vessel, you didn’t know where Crowley’s old self was, or how long it would take for him to arrive. Picking up your novel, you move to your armchair that you insisted on keeping, regardless of anything else. It was the one place you felt safe enough to read and just relax. It was well over twelve hours when you hear the door swing open. By now the self-doubt of last night’s activities were eating away at you so badly you could hardly acknowledge the words on the page in front of you.

“You alright, pet?” You look over your book to your husband, now back in his original vessel.

“I’m fine.” You smile tightly over to him, returning to your book, reading the same sentence for the hundredth time in however long it was your concentration started to falter. Footsteps approach you and your book is plucked from your hands and placed on the table next to you as your husband crouches in front of you.

“What’s wrong?” You bite your lip.

“Do you want me to change my vessel?” You ask quietly. “There was just a few things that were said last night that made me thing that maybe….you wanted me to change?” Silence ticks over you as what you’ve just said sinks in. You refused to change vessels from your original body, at least permanently. You were fine with Crowley changing vessels, as long as he felt comfortable and told you before hand you really couldn’t care less. But the lack of change for him always made you feel as if you weren’t enough, especially after your activities last night.

He sighs. “Y/N, your vessel last night was attractive, yes, but I don’t want you to change unless you want to. Last night was fun, but I would never view her as beautiful unless you were possessing her. I love you, Y/N, and you are beautiful in whatever meatsuit you are wearing. Everyone else pales in comparison.” He kisses your forehead gently. “I promise you that you are perfection to me in each and every way.”

You move in closer to him, breathing in his familiar scent. “Alright.” You smile lightly. “I do have another question though.” Crowley hums, letting you know he was listening. “Would you do the reverse? I wanna know what you feel when we are together.” You feel his wide grin on your forehead as he pulls back, the look on his face causing you to feel a flash of arousal.

“I think I’m down for that, pet.”


End file.
